All of a sudden I heard the older man say "Remember when we were like that?" I looked at my boyfriend and we laughed and giggled. When I turned back around, my boyfriend had a ring in his hand, and said "I can't wait until we're like that!"
- Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
- The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
- Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
- It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. ”Are you sitting on the remote?” No. ”Stand up”.
- Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!
- Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).
- God is really creative, i mean…just look at me.
- May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
- When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
- Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body.
- Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
- They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.
- That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
- Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
- Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
- I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
- I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
- I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
- I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
- The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
- One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
- Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
- Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
- I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
- People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
- When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
- The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
- I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
- I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
- Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
- Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men’s toilet.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
- I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
- The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
- The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.
- Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
- ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
- Oooooh, thats a bit too harsh. Let me put a `lol` at the end of it.
- Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
- I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
- Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
- When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
- Taking revenge is wrong…very very wrong.. But very very fun.
- I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Better late than never, but never late is better.
- I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
- Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
- I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
- Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
- If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
- Dont let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see…& don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.
- No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
- Whatsapp: the only book teens read these days.
- In today’s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
- Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
- Its Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You.
- God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well…we all make mistakes.
- You remind me of my Chinese friend…Ug Lee
- Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
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